my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
