some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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