is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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