I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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