all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize