I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
