I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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