put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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