Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
