i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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