I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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