I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
