You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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