I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
