dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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