hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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