the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
