my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
