Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
