I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
