You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
