i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
