I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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