4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
