Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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