I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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