There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
