He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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