everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
