I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
