turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
