3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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