Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my sisters under your porch take her home
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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