Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
