Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
