I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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