she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
