sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
