If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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