Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
