Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
