he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Dick very happy bro
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
