Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
