What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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