I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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