I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
