i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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