im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
