I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
