I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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