Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
