was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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